The Freedom I Found in Setting Boundaries.
I was always that friend that was up for a glass of wine. Unfortunately when you’re that person, your friends might only be drinking once a week but for you it’s more like 3 or 4 times a week. And that was just socially. It was a slow, creeping habit. A glass while cooking dinner, a glass with dinner, a glass after dinner. It was easy to pop open a bottle of wine at the start of the evening and find it empty by bedtime.
The problem wasn’t that I drank; the problem was how much and how often I was drinking. I could see the slippery slope I was on; I wasn’t an addict, but it was beginning to impact every aspect of my life, both physically and mentally. The more I drank, the worst my anxiety was, my sleep - which isn’t great at the best of times - was much worse and my memory began to be affected. Yet, it was my go-to vice for both dealing with tough situations and always for celebrations.
What was the turning point, and opened my eyes to the reality of my drinking habit was one particularly big night out. I was really upset and disappointed about a particular situation in my life and to drown my sorrows, I got completely smashed at the pub after work. Waking up the next morning I felt so mentally, emotionally, and physically awful. Enough was enough. I decided then and there something needed to change. I knew that I no longer had a healthy boundary with alcohol, so I came up with a plan. I downloaded a sobriety app and made the decision to stop drinking for at least 90 days. I figured this would give me a chance to reset and feel better.
And my gosh did I feel better, so much so that I decided to continue the sober journey up until running my marathon – which ended up being a little over 6 months in total. I had never felt more clear-minded, healthy and confident in myself.
Some of the key positives I got from taking a break were:
My anxiety was less frequent and more controllable
I slept better so my morning routine became consistent which resulted in my bible and prayer time improving
I felt fitter because I always felt 100% enough to stick to my training plan
My skin had a glow up
I proved to myself that I didn’t need a drink to dance my heart out at the Christmas Party
Life got a bit cheaper!
My six months of going sober wasn’t a kick-start to a lifetime of sobriety. I didn’t plan to give up alcohol for good, but I am willing to give it up if I can’t maintain healthy boundaries or recognise my limits. I’d rather live a life sober than to fall back into the drinking cycle I found myself in. I’m still your friend who loves a glass of wine. I will enjoy a drink with you on a night out, but I also know I can make it actually that - just one drink, and I can have just as good a time without any. When I’m having a tough day I find I don’t crave wine, I’d rather ride it out sober knowing that in the morning I will feel better about whatever was getting me down, and I’ll be more in control of my emotions.
Being able to break a bad habit allowed me to re-evaluate what a healthy attitude towards drinking looked like and understand having boundaries around something doesn’t restrict you, it actually gives you more freedom to enjoy life fully.
Is there something you struggle with that has become a negative habit? Perhaps like me, you need a little break from it so you can reset and re-evaluate. I hope sharing this encourages you to discover what your own freedom looks like to you.
If you need a little guidance on how to build healthy habits, why not try one of Temple’s plans?