The power of your people
They say two is better than one, and they couldn’t be more right. When I signed up to run a marathon it felt like something I was just doing myself but actually what I found along the journey was how much I needed people in my corner – encouraging and championing me to believe in myself. We often talk about accountability (which is defo key) but I think something even more important is feeling supported. From my friend who even suggested running a marathon in the first place (thanks Sophie!) to people donating to my fundraiser, to the kind insta DMs after a long training run, to my friends and mum coming down to Brighton for the race itself – this all contributed to me believing I could actually run a marathon.
One of the most significant moments I remember during the marathon is when I got to the point where I felt like I couldn’t keep going, and I remember saying to myself “I need to see someone in the crowd, I need a familiar face.” It was less than ten minutes later that I saw a group of my friends cheering me on, holding up signs with beaming smiles on their faces, and it made the BIGGEST difference in that moment. I stopped to speak to them for a moment, downed lots of their water and was able to take a minute to reset, before setting off again with a restored sense of self belief after hearing them tell me how well I was doing.
My friends being there at that point was so needed. Can you believe I wasn’t even going to invite anyone to come along? And technically I didn’t – my friends said as soon as I had signed up that they wanted to come and support. I didn’t need to ask, and I realised that is what it is to be a friend to each other. To show up without being asked. To want to support and encourage each other unconditionally, whether that’s in achieving goals, trying new things or the general challenges that come with life.
I’m not someone who finds it easy to ask for help, or likes to make everything about me, but it’s actually so much more fun sharing things with others. Even though I had to run 26 miles I can honestly say looking back it was the best day, and my friends had the best time too – they did more eating and drinking than running of course!
In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”
I love this verse, especially where it says “they can help each other.” I’ve realised that there are times in life where we are the friend who needs support and encouragement and it’s ok to ask for it and say you need it. Then there are times where we need to be the friend who is willing to show up, even without being asked. This is the beauty of friendship and this is why we need community because life is so much better when you walk it together, not just because of what we need ourselves, but also the joy of the part we get to play for others.
I will end with the beautiful words of Joshua Luke Smith who puts it perfectly when describing friendship and community: “I’m speaking of lives laid down for one another, friendships that hold space for the length and breadth of our human experience. I’m talking about a place of belonging just because you’re there, without performing or even participating. Holding others long enough in their grief that your t-shirt is wetted by their tears or laughing long enough in their joy that you struggle to breathe.”